The Northman

The Northman ★★★★½

everything was dark. everyone was screaming. i couldn't see what was happening. i couldn't understand what anyone was saying. about thirty things happened every five minutes. willem dafoe calls alexander skårsgard a puppy. anya taylor joy smears period blood on claes bang's face. ethan hawk pretends to be a dog and eats out of a bowl. alexander skårsgard eats a guy's face. nicole kidman has psychosexual issues. björk. 5 stars

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