Spencer ★½

Oh god this really does have the look and sound of a good picture. Pablo Larrain shoots the shit out of it, never any faults for Kristen Stewart and as always a typically great score from Jonny Greenwood. It's a bunch of talented people going about this in the wrong way. I have never seen the Naomi Watts film about Diana but I bet I'd prefer to this. Atleast it be funny bad. This was wildly up its own arse. It thinks its good! This silly film wants to present itself as some tense psycho drama horror. If you're that arsed just leave! You don't have to be there. Oh poor you, you awful thing. Riding round in your porsches. Look at you crying in your million pound dress. Atleast you've got a fucking mansion to be miserable in. I just have 2 rooms to do it! Oh fuck off you cunt and hit a brick wall at 120 miles an hour again. Stack it you cunt. Spent the entire thing thinking BRING ON THE WALL.

This is one for those kinds of people who appreciate form too much and don't have the slightest idea about the material itself. No problems with the quality of the shots, the editing, the sound. It's the positioning of the characters, I can't stand. At the end of the day fancy shots don't even matter when they don't add to the narrative in the right way. Technical means Jack shit if it doesn't fit what you're doing or it doesn't tell the story right. If you end up showing a character in a particular light that isn't right then I'm sorry you've failed your job as a director I'm afraid. Don't care about your lovely camera movements or wonderful framing because you've made the wrong choices which can be seen in the outcome. Just showing off aren't you if you have some long tracking shot down the corridor and it's not for the right reasons. Truth is its just clueless.

Reminds me of Scorsese's worst film he ever made, The Age of Innocence. Scorsese couldn't really ever make a bad movie in form. He knows the tools too well. Spencer and Age of Innocence are similar in having talented people making movies about high society and just getting lost in it. Not having a clue what to do. So you can fuck off with your technical expertise cause you're not actually using it well. You know how to do something but not why to do something. That's only 50 percent of the game son!

One day though someone could make a movie about the weird obsession with "the people's Princess" and not bow down to the obsession itself. Unfortunately, this is not that movie. Don't get why every loves her so much. She knew what she was getting in to when she started having sexual relations with one of these lizards. She made her choice. So this victim stance is just fucking nonsense. Maybe they just shouldn't make any movies about her. That would be even better. You know what annoys me most is that there are people on the left who give this little shit some slack. They genuinely love her.

Always hearing stupid rants about how evil the royal family were to her. So what's the point of this film if it barely scratches the surface. Oh poor thing they won't let her walk through some fucking fields. Not that I care in the slightest but I can fully believe they treated her worse than this. Atleast it be funnier if they showed some of that. If you're gonna take this victim route atleast get some really wacky conspiracy theories going about the Royal family. Get the Epstein shit out there! Go wild. If not what's the point of this? Double down on it you know. If you're gonna rattle this family about their history, go for it. This is just toothless. Empty melodrama nonsense. What's the point of the Shining stuff if there's nothing to it? You get this film after about 10 minutes and it goes on and on.

I can't hack films like this. If you make a film to rattle some real figures (in this case the royal family), rattle them. Don't wank them off. The worst they show is them doing some animal hunting and discuss Charles affairs. Can't they show us something deeper? What we don't know? The stuff behind closed doors? This is just 2 hours of that incredible actress Kristen Stewart walking round a castle throwing a strop. I've got no time for it. It's the same story as Twilight as she tries to infiltrate a blood sucking family. Except that one was good old campy fun. What was the fucking Anne boleyn nonsense hahahahaha. Laughable. Absolutely laughable.

The only reason I've wanted to watch this was for the Greenwood score. Fuck sake Jonny, pick better projects. I gotta come to silly shit like this and power of the dog for your amazing works lately! Atleast with power of the dog it was almost on to something with the whole gay western thing. Just a shame Cumberbatch can't act to save his life. Maybe I should listen to the scores on Spotify and not bother with the films. As for Kristen, get Olivier Assayas on the blower and get making more shit like Personal Shopper.

Spent the whole time wanting to knock out those two kids. Would love to unload my kung fu on those little brats. I'd fucking lob em both of the top of the mansion. I'd get both William and Harry lined up and sweet chin music them off the roof. I swear to God. My TV fucking blew up whilst watching this possibly due to the heat as if that wasn't a sign to say stop watching this fucking nonsense. I do not fucking care about any of these god damn reptilian scumbags. Drown them all in the fucking Thames. The worst benefit scroungers in the country. Fuck em and fuck Diana. The cast involved here are too good to be making shite about cunts like this. This has come out as a messy rant. Probably heavier than was meant to be. I'm just fucking fuming right now. It's too hot. Can't fucking think straight. What the fuck am I gonna do about me TV?

Block or Report

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