Co-Founder / Co-Host / Editor: Secret Handshake
Favorite films
Recent activity
AllRecent reviews
More-
Blast 1997
Bloodless DTV DIE HARD rip off where a group of Eurotrash terrorists take the US Women’s Olympic Swim Team hostage at their practice facility and their only hope for rescue is the assistant coach’s estranged, burnt out, bronze medalist janitor husband and Rutger Hauer as a rogue Native American FBI agent, complete with bronze face and ceremonial pigtail braids (no, really). In the words of Ernest Hemingway: “when Albert Pyun was bad, he was really, really fucking bad”. A no…
-
Deceit 1990
Albert Pyun was a born smuggler, sometimes in a very literal sense. CYBORG was, more or less, born because a strained Golan & Globus bounced checks to both Marvel and Mattel, cancelling both the SPIDER-MAN movie and MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE sequel he was supposed to shoot simultaneously. Knee deep in pre-pro, Pyun used the barren sets left over for those projects and gave us the aforementioned JCVD trash classic. While making that movie, which was hindered by its star’s constant…
Popular reviews
More-
Pig 2021
"I remember every meal I ever cooked. I remember every person I ever served."
Went in expecting some sort of artier "JOHN WICK with a pig" bullshit, came out chewing (no pun intended) on an existential rumination regarding how people find meaning in a mostly meaningless world (only to often have it stolen away) with Nic Cage again proving why he's the most beguilingly idiosyncratic actor of any generation. Adam Arkin is also lights out with pretty much a single…
-
The Matrix Resurrections 2021
Lana Wachowski’s NEW NIGHTMARE (or DEJA VU). A meta reckoning with the franchise’s place in pop history that simultaneously takes the current IP-driven tent pole culture to task (not to mention those who’d demand/dissect a new MATRIX movie to begin with). At the same time, it’s another swooningly romantic, hyper-dorky auteurist work of live action anime that’s genuinely sweet, thrillingly violent, and undeniably corny/clunky. Folks are gonna be divided on this (I mean, duh, it’s a MATRIX sequel), but I, for one, loved every fucking second of it and can’t wait to go back.