The Northman

The Northman ★★★

Yeah...uhmm...no, I didn't like this! I mean, I didn't hate it...it was OK I guess...it had some great visuals, solid gore, and OK performances...but I just don't see the appeal of THE NORTHMAN and why everybody loves it so much!!

Story vise, THE NORTHMAN doesn't bring anything new to the table...it's your typical revenge story seen many times before. Basically, it's CONAN THE BARBARIAN meets THE LION KING every step of the way (and apparently Shakespeare is also in the mix). There's even couple of direct scenes taken from CONAN (intro with voiceover, the scene when he finds the sword, Amleth being "crucified" by the bad guys, the death of his father - it's mother in CONAN, etc.)
To be honest...I don't mind that...I don't mind that the film is unoriginal as long as it is entertaining and fun to watch. But unfortunately, THE NORTHMAN is not fun (to watch)...it's just not that type of movie to begin with. It's too weird in some moments, and too artsy...and I don't like art movies...it's just not my cup of tea...never was.
Because of this last statement, I should note that haven't seen any of Robert Eggers' previous films. THE VVITCH just didn't interest me to watch it because the whole artsy vibe, and as for THE LIGHTHOUSE...well, just based on the trailer alone I know that's not something I could handle so I didn't even bother to try to watch it...it's just to artsy for my taste...

But THE NORTHMAN got me intrigued because the whole Viking setting, and I really liked the visuals and the brutality in the trailer, but despite not watching Eggers' previous films, I was aware of what I was possibly getting myself into knowing that he has his own unique (arthouse) style. I just hoped that style wouldn't prevail this time...but it did!

Also..I watched this right after AMBULANCE...I had a mini movie marathon in cinema that night...and I dunno, maybe I just wasn't in the mood for THE NORTHEMAN after Bay's adrenaline rush injection, plus it was already late and maybe I was a little tired after the AMBULANCE...so who knows, maybe that's the reason, or one of the (main) reasons why I didn't liked this...I honestly don't know...

But than again, I had problems with the way the story was told during the movie...the way they handle Amleth's desire for revenge, that he basically forgot about it, until that witch came out of nowhere to remind him that he needed to get revenge lol...it was just weird.
Also...relationship between Alexander Skarsgård and Anya Taylor-Joy...I dunno, I just didn't feel the connection between them.
And let's not forget the pacing...the whole thing it a bit too long and stretched out if you ask me. Tighter pacing would work better IMO...but that's me...
As I said at the beginning, gore was solid, but there was nothing shocking about it, as some claim. I've definitely seen bloodier movies, so that's another thing about this movie that didn't impressed as much as many others...

Aynway...as I said, I didn't hate it...it was perfectly fine movie...it had some awesome visuals, and locations were perfect...but considering the hype and all the praise, I definitely expected something more, and better. Maybe I'll give it another chance somewhere down the road, but I highly doubt I'll ever like it as much as I do like THE 13th WARRIOR for example...one extremely underrated movie if you ask me, a movie that deserves way more attention than THE NORTHMAN...so yeah, no Valhalla for THE NORTHMAN if you ask me lol...

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