isla has written 2 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Cats

    Cats

    ★½

    i saw cats last night and i still haven’t recovered. here is a play-by-play of my experience
    - the movie begins. the audience is rife with anticipatory giggles. some lady in the back row loudly says “can we be quiet now, please? let us watch the movie in silence” in a displeased russian accent.
    we will inevitably disappoint her
    - in the first 5 minutes, while crying with laughter, i decide this movie is actually about a human who gets…

  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    i’m gonna make a movie called The Human Millipede and it’s gonna be a story about 1000 people linking arms and discovering the beauty of friendship