isla has written 26 reviews for films during 2017.

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    list of all extremely dramatic and inherently gay moments in the last jedi
    - the fucking red backdrop in snoke’s boudoir… his jeff goldblum robe... the guards
    - kyle’s fucking bandaid, unnecessary ship spinning
    - luke, the dramatic door slam, the milk drinking, harpoons… “i came here to DIE”
    - everyone is just SLAPPING EACHOTHER
    - carrie fisher force moment
    - “that was leia’s last official act, right? to demote you?” mmmm watcha say
    - luke’s fucking palm frond
    -…

  • Good Time

    Good Time

    the safdie brothers repeatedly activated my fight or flight response for two consecutive hours

  • American Psycho

    American Psycho

    ★★★★★

    patrick bateman taught me more about skincare than every beauty guru amalgamated into a singular glossier-peddling, baby-soft eldritch horror

  • Schwechater

    Schwechater

    direct action, thanks comrade kubelka

  • The Sprinkler Sprinkled

    The Sprinkler Sprinkled

    wow i didnt know they had vine in 1895

  • Coco

    Coco

    got progressively better, i wanted to like this movie so badly and i'm very glad that's how it turned out

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★★★★

    this is what real life looks like

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★★★★

    the most unrealistic part of this movie was when lady bird was went to the hospital and it was nbd. does she have health insurance??? does she know how much that costs??? greta??? greta i need to know

  • Pulp Fiction

    Pulp Fiction

    ★★★★★

    the year is 1995. mister tarantino picks up his first oscar for this movie. reveling in his success for a fleeting moment, he reads the engraving at the tiny golden man's feet and recoils in shock

    "QUENTIN...... TORTELLINI???"

  • Ex Machina

    Ex Machina

    if the main guy in ex machina hadn’t liked depeche mode so much he would have probably had a girlfriend and not wanted to fuck the robot so bad and none of the other events in the film would have happened. intriguing screenwriting that really makes you think

  • Lucy

    Lucy

    movie pitch: they say we only ever use 10% of our brain. imagine if we could bump that down to 1 or 2%, or even 0%

  • Jaws

    Jaws

    upon rewatching, i now understand Jaws is the hero of the movie Jaws. they wouldn’t name the movie after him if he wasn’t. he's the hero for eating these martha’s vineyard goons and the true villain is, i guess, capitalism. let's hear it for Jaws The Shark from the movie Jaws!