is this a christmas movie?
jane austen: this character is going to be the purest, sweetest, prettiest, kindest character i have ever written
jane austen: everybody will love her
jane austen: she is her mother's favourite
jane austen: a rich, kind, handsome bachelor falls instantly in love with her
jane austen: the heroine looks up to her
jane austen: she has never done anything wrong in her entire life
jane austen: if she has any character flaws at all its that she is TOO much of an absolute sweetheart
jane austen: and i will call her .....
jane austen: jane :-)
i saw cats last night and i still haven’t recovered. here is a play-by-play of my experience
- the movie begins. the audience is rife with anticipatory giggles. some lady in the back row loudly says “can we be quiet now, please? let us watch the movie in silence” in a displeased russian accent.
we will inevitably disappoint her
- in the first 5 minutes, while crying with laughter, i decide this movie is actually about a human who gets…
objective best parts of this movie in no particular order:
- bucky picking up rocket and spinning around with him like julie andrews
- wong pretending that masters of the mystic arts don’t carry money when dr. strange is going to get something from the deli
- “you’ll die alone.” “she’s not alone.”
- “i am groot.” “i am steve rogers.”
- “we kick names and take ass.”
- the cloak of levitation doing more superhero work than the rest…
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
list of all extremely dramatic and inherently gay moments in the last jedi
- the fucking red backdrop in snoke’s boudoir… his jeff goldblum robe... the guards
- kyle’s fucking bandaid, unnecessary ship spinning
- luke, the dramatic door slam, the milk drinking, harpoons… “i came here to DIE”
- everyone is just SLAPPING EACHOTHER
- carrie fisher force moment
- “that was leia’s last official act, right? to demote you?” mmmm watcha say
- luke’s fucking palm frond