harrison has written 25 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Money Shot: The Pornhub Story

    Money Shot: The Pornhub Story


    you know what they say!

    the best documentaries have no distinct message whatsoever and everyone involved vaguely looks like they don’t know what they’re talking about due to that lack of a message

    oh fuck wait i think they say the opposite thing actually

  • Don't Worry Darling

    Don't Worry Darling


    you know how people say that lacroix tastes like somebody said the name of a flavor out loud in a different room? this is like that but if the person in the other room was just saying “black mirror … the stepford wives … “ etc

  • Terrifier



    less of a movie and more of a depraved gore compilation with an attempt to make ~the next big halloween costume~

    lame as hell imo

  • A Christmas Story

    A Christmas Story


    sucks ass. super unlikable and creepy (not in a good way). doesn’t deserve to be in the same category as the other holiday classics

  • Don't Look Up

    Don't Look Up


    Don’t Look Up is…unfathomably cringe. truly astounding levels of cringe. unprecedented cringe, really. the people that you went to high school with that do multilevel marketing are gonna love it. Adam McKay is the directorial embodiment of the “Ruthkanda Forever” tweet. Timmy was fun tho.

  • Last Night in Soho

    Last Night in Soho


    as a huge fan of both edgar wright and anya taylor-joy…it pains me to say that i kinda hated this. it has none of the charm that wright usually brings and the film never commits to the edgy, psychological thriller that it tries to be. just awkward 😔

  • The Woman in the Window

    The Woman in the Window


    amy adams’ agent needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law

  • Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age

    Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age


    ham-fisted as hell. the woman they have talking about how *porn is bad* is breast feeding during the interview, the gay guy that they have talking about loving dick pics is wearing a shirt with penises on it, the frat bros are fist bumping eachother while talking about hooking up with multiple girls in one night, and there are ~dozens~ of shots of restaurants/bars where every single person is on their phone. it’s a shame that they stereotype everything so dramatically, because all the info/points they bring up are relatively interesting and coherent — but the whole thing never goes anywhere beyond the surface level

  • Promising Young Woman

    Promising Young Woman


    pretty gross imo! performative is an understatement for how this deals with an incredibly difficult topic like rape culture. this movie glamorizes what it shouldn’t and doesn’t pack the emotional gut-punch that it tries to. was intrigued by the trailer, have been wanting to watch it forever, and finally when i get the chance to — it’s so disappointing.

  • Together



    if McAvoy and Horgan weren’t as good as they are…I’m not sure I would’ve made it through the whole thing. I had one more credit in my movie subscription service to use before the month ends tomorrow, this was the only movie I had time to see, and I thought “why not?”. well — it was pretty miserable! hamfisted-ass script that thinks it’s doing something clever. it’s a pretty big issue when you make a film that’s basically a play and the script sucks.

  • Space Jam: A New Legacy

    Space Jam: A New Legacy


    an abomination in every sense of the word. if you showed this movie to someone in the 19th century, they would get a brain hemorrhage. big chungus was cool tho

  • The Babysitter

    The Babysitter


    a colossal piece of shit. what’s worse: having King Bach suddenly appear in the movie that you’re watching or the fact that this might have the worst case of “dumb protagonist in a horror movie brain” of all time?