ʜᴀʏᴅᴇɴᴡᴇᴇɴ 5

ʜᴀʏᴅᴇɴᴡᴇᴇɴ 5


Cinema should be like a peacock's tail.”-Andrzej Zulawski

Cinephile turned just some guy who watches movies.

Favorite films

  • Dracula
  • Sleepy Hollow
  • Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
  • Halloween II

Recent activity

  • Halloween


  • Predators


  • Silver Bullet


  • Skinwalker: The Howl of the Rougarou


Pinned reviews

  • Oz the Great and Powerful

    Oz the Great and Powerful

    Me: “James Franco made Joey King walk so that Zach Braff could make her run.”
    Bryce: “Abracadabra...I’m uncomfortable.”

    A much much nicer and more enjoyable film than I remember it being when I based all of my taste on whatever the internet told me to think. Now I’m a tad wiser and privy to the FACT that Sam Raimi is incapable of making a movie worth hatred. I had it in my memory that this was much more like Burton’s…

  • The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

    The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

    One day,
    years after I am dead and gone,
    when the engraving on my tomb has been weathered away,
    passerby may still know that Hayden lay beneath the earth in that very spot,
    for on the wind they shall hear 
    a poor and persistent impression 
    of Bing Crosby

Recent reviews

  • Halloween


    Laurie: “I’m not afraid of you!”
    2018 timeline Michael: “I don’t think about you at all.”

    I’m sad that I totally forgot about the Elvira marathon on Shudder (I don’t like her commentary as much as Joe Bob, but I like her movie selections more), but I did get the chance to watch another classic with someone who’s never seen it, and even better, somehow knew nothing about it.

    Some things I’ll always love about this movie: the day to…

  • Predators


    I can never decide if I dislike this or The Predator more. They’re both pretty crap to me, but it depends on if I’d rather be bored or annoyed. 

    Predators stands in stark contrast with the first Predator in that every character on-screen sucks so bad and yet are somehow instantly forgettable when they’re not on-screen. At least The Predator has Sterling K Brown chewing gum.

Popular reviews

  • Untold: Malice at the Palace

    Untold: Malice at the Palace

    👏🏻Normalize👏🏻Violent brawls👏🏻at the end👏🏻of👏🏻all👏🏻Sporting👏🏻Events👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • The Dark Tower

    The Dark Tower


    This movie has forgotten the face of its father. 

    Sony took King's magnum opus and squandered it. What we have here, after so many stops and starts, is a Maze Runnered, Divergented bastardization of The Dark Tower. It's a YA flick with a Mid-World lexicon.

    Literally couldn't stop laughing when, after a total onslaught of Hey look it's King-Stuff!, I turned to my friend and said "Watch there be a St Bernard" and what do you know there's Cujo…