Favorite films

  • The Princess Bride

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  • The Lost City of Z

  • Baby Driver

    ★★★

  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    ★★★★

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    ★★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Lost City of Z

    The Lost City of Z

    I have no idea what this movie is about. Malaria? Anyway, the ac broke in one of the theaters this was playing in. Only 2 tickets had been sold, I went to tell them that if they wanted we could move them to a different theater that had working AC since that one was empty. When I get in the theater I see only one dude and thought “huh, I thought there were tw- OH MY GOD” as a girl…

  • Baby Driver

    Baby Driver

    ★★★

    This movie came out right after I had moved to a new city and was freshly single. Every single dude I matched with wanted me to take them to see this since it was free with my employee pass. I’ve seen this movie 4 times and had to pretend it was my first time seeing it every time. Even my coworkers were in on it when they would get me tickets / concessions. On one of the dates right before…

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  • The Martian

    The Martian

    ★★★★

    Senior citizens do not know what this movie is called. I don’t think they know what any movie is called! They saw the poster which said “bring him home” and would NOT accept when I gave them tickets to “the Martian”. “No, we want BRING HIM HOME, not THE MARTIAN.” None of them would ever listen to reason. They were always so mad at me. Fuck you richard from New England, I hope your popcorn was stale.

  • Paper Towns

    Paper Towns

    I LITERALLY FOUND A USED CONDOM, A CRUSTY THONG, AND TOO MUCH BOOZE IN THIS THEATER. STOP BEING HORNY.