• Loki



    The production design and score are easily the best of any of the Disney+ shows and the animated TVA introduction was cute, but man, does this thing drag. I said this before about The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but I really don't think these Marvel series need to have 45-50 minute episodes. WandaVision's 22-minute episodes were a much more suitable length... and even those dragged on occasion. There's just not enough story here to justify such an intensely long…

  • A Night to Remember

    A Night to Remember


    While I knew there’d be some similarities between this film and James Cameron’s Titanic (both being centered the sinking of that “unsinkable” ship), I didn’t expect to discover that the latter film is basically a remake of this one. Of course there’s no Jack and Rose (A Night to Remember is focused far more on the actual passengers of the ship), but a huge amount of shots, musical choices, and lines of dialogue are ripped straight from this version. 

    As for…

  • Cars 2

    Cars 2

    A movie so bad it took me three separate viewings to get through the whole thing...

    Okay, perhaps that's unfair. Cars 2 isn't the worst movie ever made (though it is the worst movie Pixar's made thus far). It's just relentlessly mediocre. It doubles down on the childish humor of the first while adding onto it some equally childish dialogue and characterization. And why is it a spy movie? If Pixar wanted to make a spy movie, they could've just…

  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Solo: A Star Wars Story


    It's funny how Solo, a movie literally centered around a protagonist from the original trilogy, somehow feels like more of a standalone movie than Rogue One ever did. Yes, there are obviously elements that tie into past movies, but these are relatively minor and (with the exception of one final cameo) presented in such a matter-of-fact way that it feels like the movie is not being overly reverent to its source material - instead just simply telling the story it…

  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    Rogue One: A Star Wars Story


    It's rare that in rewatching a movie I like it less than I did upon first viewing. And yet that is exactly what happened with Rogue One... a movie I didn't even particularly like to begin with. It's not just that the characters are painfully one-dimensional or that the story does absolutely nothing to justify its own existence, it's also really really boring.

    Yes, there are certain pros... the VFX (specifically of the space ships - not so much Tarkin…

  • Doctor Sleep

    Doctor Sleep


    The best thing Doctor Sleep does is expand its universe in a way that pays respect to The Shining but also moves beyond it. The worst thing Doctor Sleep does is that after two hours of standing almost entirely on its own it decides to do a complete 180 and commit itself to a pandering nostalgia-fest. 

    Seriously, the first two hours of this film are great. From the genuinely poignant “doctor sleep” scenes where Danny provides catharsis to his dying patients in…

  • The Shining

    The Shining


    I finally get it.

    While I’ve always appreciated The Shining for the cultural touchstone that it is, I’ve personally also found it to be a bit of slog (and that’s coming from someone who loves Kubrick’s other work - 2001 included). But tonight I watched the European cut for the first time (a version also edited by Kubrick that excises nearly 30 minutes of extra material) and I gotta say, I find it to be far superior. 

    Yes, the more…

  • Toy Story 3

    Toy Story 3


    This is why I love Toy Story. Sure, the first film was groundbreaking and the second was a fantastic follow-up... but this... this is perfect.

    Michael Arndt's screenplay (somehow the only screenplay Hollywood has allowed him to produce outside of Little Miss Sunshine) is absolutely flawless - equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking. The decision to have the same amount of time pass between sequels as has passed in the real world since the release of Toy Story 2 is, quite…

  • Curious George

    Curious George


    Jack Johnson's soundtrack is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.

    3 Stars

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    I think it’s actually admirable how quickly The Rise of Skywalker starts sucking. A lot of bad movies will get your hopes up with an interesting first half or something... but not The Rise of Skywalker. No, it’s abundantly clear this thing is shit about seven seconds in - when it’s revealed, in the first fucking sentence of the opening crawl, that Palpatine is back from the dead. It’s a bafflingly stupid decision clearly made by a creative team that…

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi


    "Salt". These are the words spoken by a certain Resistance fighter in a scene that exists solely to inform us, the audience, that though the planet we're on appears to be snow-covered it is not in fact snow but salt. It's... really dumb. And in a way emblematic of the film as a whole. The Last Jedi seems to exist solely to set up traditional Star Wars tropes - just to subvert your expectations and do something wildly different in…

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    Star Wars: The Force Awakens


    What a fucking cocktease of a movie

    The entire script seems purposely written to keep the audience in a state of suspense, constantly teasing the appearances of "old friends" who do not pay off or prompting questions that have no satisfactory answer. In short, The Force Awakens keeps you hooked but at the cost of having a hollow story.

    The film might've gotten away with these things when it first released, being the first Star Wars film in a decade,…