Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith ★★

Revenge of the Sith is the best of the Star Wars prequels. But does that mean it's a good movie? Absolutely fucking not.

The opening is actually fairly well-paced (probably because the movie is in a race towards the finish line) and the close is - admittedly - some of the best Star Wars content we've ever received (probably because it's when George Lucas remembered he actually had to tell a story with these movies), but everything in between is a slog to get through. It's the same wooden acting, stilted dialogue, and uninspired direction of the previous two prequels.

I can only imagine how good this movie would be if the third act was fleshed out and given time to breathe. This brings me to my main point... that should've been the entire movie. I know it's easier to say these things with the benefit of hindsight, but here's my fanfic-y version of how the trilogy should have gone:

Episode I: Basically Attack of the Clones but done better this time. We actually show the training of Anakin by Obi-Wan and build his relationship with Padme (but, ya know, it doesn't suck this time)

Episode II: We actually focus on the Clone Wars instead of skipping almost entirely over them. The film closes with Anakin's turn to the dark side (after all, it's the middle film of a trilogy and therefore should end at the story's lowest point)

Episode III: We follow Anakin's quest to destroy the Jedi (i.e. Order 66) and his subsequent becoming of Darth Vader as Obi-Wan attempts to redeem him

So, yeah, that's my review. I know it's not that in-depth but hey, these movies have been talked to death already. If you like them, that's fine. I just unfortunately do not share the love. Well, except for the memes. The memes are good...

2 Stars

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