Brett Arnold’s review published on Letterboxd:
I’ve never seen a Marvel movie go over this badly with an audience, which is particularly brutal considering it’s opening day and it was sold out. The energy in there was “dental office waiting room,” fitting as both are obligatory and joyless affairs that we all feel the societal need to check in on *at least* every six months!
Just a painful moviegoing experience, not a single laugh from the crowd for any of the barely-there “jokes” that make up the entire thing. If you didn’t like when he called Jane Foster “Jane Fonda” don’t worry you’ll get another go with “Jodie Foster” in just a minute! There’s nothing else to it and every single gag bombed. I somehow left feeling embarrassed for it? The humor isn’t just unfunny and doesn’t just fall completely flat, it’s actively annoying and undercuts all attempts at tension.
The movie itself is so flat and lifeless that I can only describe it as “awkward” at times in that it feels like you’re watching deleted scenes assembled into a movie not an actual movie. The Kat Dennings/Portman scene up top is most egregious “what am I looking at here?” moment. There’s no dramatic inertia to any of it, there’s no propulsion. I miss storytelling! Remember storytelling?
Admittedly these are not for me but it’s a shame they’re not even trying anymore, between the “cameos as gags” bullshit and the “screaming goats of the 2011 internet” humor and copious amounts of lazy bad green screen and the even more copious amounts of Guns ‘n Roses, this really feels like MCU’s nadir. Feeling really great about Taika having a screenplay Oscar!