The Northman

The Northman ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

I'm still in shock. This is undoubtedly the coolest and most brutal film I have ever seen. The sheer intensity of it is borderline suffocating, but it was one of the best theater experiences of my life.

Robert Eggers can do absolutely no wrong. This man is a genius of an insane nature and I could have watched about 10 more hours of Alexander Skarsgård being the peak of the human condition and slaughtering motherfuckers left and right.

Speaking of Alexander Skarsgård, this man is a fucking beast. He is massive, unrelenting, and gives a breathtaking performance that manages to anchor this film.
Anya Taylor-Joy my beloved is captivating, the scene right after Olga and Amleth escape, and they're sitting in the gorgeous meadow, both Joy and Skarsgård's chemistry is electric and I would be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear.
Nicole Kidman you absolutely unhinged lady. As much as I hate to say it, she did slay very hard.
Willem Dafoe, Ethan Hawke, Bjork, Claes Bang, this entire supporting cast was incredible. Everyone absolutely sank into these roles in such a captivating way, this is one of the most immersive films I've ever seen.

The VISUALS, oh don't even get me started. From the heartbreakingly beautiful landscapes to lingering bloody battle shots, the cinematography of this film is unparalleled. From the one take battle scene at the beginning, to the fucking gorgeous spirit tree thing, to the jaw dropping final shot of the volcano fight (yeah where he gets fucking BEHEADED I COULDN'T BREATHE), this film in visuals alone is practically a masterpiece.

God the MUSIC, the SCORE, the SOUND DESIGN, it was perfection. The booming, borderline unbearable score that bombards the ears in the best way was the only way to soundtrack this film, and ending it with a note of pure silence was absolutely genius.

This film is my new personality! I will become insufferable and never ever shut up about it, it is incredible EVERYBODY GO SEE 'THE NORTHMAN'!!!

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