Favorite films

  • The Wolfman
  • The Wolf Man
  • Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
  • Benedetta

Recent activity

  • Rampage: President Down

  • The Little Mermaid


  • BASEketball


  • Dirty Grandpa


Pinned reviews

  • The Lost World: Jurassic Park

    The Lost World: Jurassic Park


    "There aren't any versions of the truth."

    Watching with a really close friend in a majestic theater was a tremendous cinematic experience. I had the biggest smile on my face right from the opening statement from Matt Winston, son of the late FX wizard Stan Winston and co-founder of the prestigious Stan Winston School of Character Arts. This is the first time I've been truly happy since November. I savored every moment he cringed and squirmed in his seat at…

  • Spawn



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "They belong together. There's no place for me here."

    Over 2 decades of superhero movies and none of them has even come close to this one for me. It truly, deeply breaks my heart that people will let some poorly aged CGI and occasional scatalogical humor (which, if anything, make the trippy, nightmare reality of the film feel that much more authentic) cause them to completely write off a really well made film full of emotional power and, dare I…

Recent reviews

  • Rampage: President Down

    Rampage: President Down

    A cautionary tale on the worst possible outcome of not getting a successful Kickstarter to fund your movie. This film has Bill Williamson kill the Trump family and they have it happen off screen and communicated to us via a very bored sounding anchorwoman. 

    Damn shame, because Capital Punishment was absolutely brilliant, the hype for this one was real for me.

    I’m not mad, Uwe, I’m just disappointed.

  • The Little Mermaid

    The Little Mermaid


    "But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more"

    I knew I had the right feeling about this one. The Little Mermaid (2023) the best Disney live action remake to date and one of my favorite films of the year. I know a lot of people are just going to dismiss its merits as a remake as if that automatically makes it worthless and an affront to the original (you see this all the time with…

Popular reviews

  • Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

    Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones


    Alright, let me get this straight.

    This is...
    1) The only film in the series with an actual plot.
    2) The only film in the series with an actual structure.
    3) The only film in the series with proactive characters instead of merely reactive ones.
    4) The only film in the series where characters actually spend a decent amount of time outside.
    5) The only film in the series where the characters are all fairly intelligent and immediately take the…

  • The Patriot

    The Patriot


    Fuck you, Roland Emmerich.

    Fuck you for your depiction of happy pseudo-slaves who want nothing more than to work for their masters all day in the field.

    Fuck you for simplifying a morally complex and nuanced war between combatants that had parents and children and loved ones into a simplistic “good vs. evil” wankfest.

    Fuck you for trying to create a hero narrative out of an unrepentant, slave owning mass murderer solely because he didn’t kill white people and you…