Firequackers

C minor, put it in C minor

Favorite films

  • Léon: The Professional
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • Amélie
  • The Silence of the Lambs

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  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    ★★★★

  • The Royal Tenenbaums

    ★★★★

  • Pinocchio

    ★★★½

  • The Pale Blue Eye

    ★★★

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  • Shrek 2

    Shrek 2

    ★★★★★

    Not only one of the greatest sequels ever but also one of my all-time favourites. I once watched it a solid four times in a row when I was having a bad day (don’t think I’ve even watched a movie twice in a row before) and was surprised Netflix didn’t send me a welfare email. So other than (admittedly) lots and lots of nostalgia, what makes it so great? 

    Well, it manages to accomplish what so many sequels fail at.…

  • King Kong

    King Kong

    ★★★½

    Okay, King Kong has absolutely no business being over 3 hours long, but it’s still a fun ride with well-cast characters and surprisingly gory scenes that I’ve come back to many times. Without the massively overstuffed first act before the boat departs it would’ve been miles better.

    We aren’t let into Ann Darrow’s character much as she spends the majority of her time on the island screaming her head off, but in her quieter moments Naomi Watts shows a lot…

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  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    ★★★★

    Three Billboards has a strong story at its core. Set in a stereotypical (although I know a Missourian who'd disagree on that) small town with an ongoing cycle of pain and abuse, a mother sets out to find justice. With its titular billboards entering the picture right from the start, there was a lot of promise in how the rest of the movie would play out.

    But it is hindered by its tonal whiplash - dark humour is something that…

  • The Royal Tenenbaums

    The Royal Tenenbaums

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why is everyone so nonchalant about the doggy’s demise? I would’ve reshaped Owen Wilson’s nose for that.

    I wasn’t sure what to make of this at first, feeling like I was already a bit weary of Wes Anderson’s offbeat shtick and not really engaging with the characters. There just isn’t a whole lot of weight to them, making the harder-hitting moments few and far between, and Bill Murray/Owen Wilson felt oddly out of place.

    But once the angle of Royal…

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  • The Crush

    The Crush

    ★★½

    "I tell you, if you were 10 years older..." 🤮🤮🤮

    It’s weird, because that line and Nick’s general creepiness early on is sort of left by the wayside in place of Adrian being portrayed as the only one in the wrong. Though I’m less surprised having found out that the film was based on a true experience by the director who was actually sued by the real girl’s parents during production, forcing any lines with her name being spoken to…

  • The Menu

    The Menu

    ★★★★

    “These are TOR-TI-YAS”

    Don’t think I’ve seen Hong Chau in anything else yet (I gave up on Downsizing after 10 minutes) but I’ll be keeping an eye out. She and Ralph Fiennes are easily the standouts, even though I enjoyed every performance. Haven’t seen Nicholas Hoult playing an asshole since his Skins days and I’m here for it.

    I found the social critique to be a bit thin and didn’t like that Margot was the only guest, or hell, character,…