Popular reviews

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  Review by Rafael "Parker!!" Jovine ★★★★ 4

  Starring: The Bold, Bald, Gruff Action Man Jason Statham

  This is it.

  This film delivers on every single one of my hopes and expectations. The sequel ups the ante with bigger explosions, stakes, action set pieces, and the involvement of our legendary heroes, all while referencing their previous iconic films in numerous ways (in scenes, fight choreography, and banter) that some viewers could find grating but which I really enjoyed. The cinematography has also vastly improved; it now has a more cinematic, and even stunning, quality. Not to discredit Stallone, but Simon West shows why he is a superior director than Sylvester right from the get-go.

  All in all, fans of the action genre, and especially those who grew up…

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  Review by Tentin Quarantino ☭ ★ 11

  Is there a reverse equivalent of the Oscars? If so, here's my ballot:
  
  Outstanding Performance in a Motion Picture (Drama) - Jean-Claude Van Damme

  Outstanding Performance in a Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy [unintentional]) - Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Worst Actor - Terry Crews

  Worst Supporting Actor - Terry Crews

  Person Who Gave Such A God Damn Awful Performance, It Can't Rightly be Called 'Acting' - Randy Couture

  Most Understandable Accent - Jason Statham

  Least Likely To Succeed - Terry Crews

  Most Likely To Have Had His 4-Year Old Grandson Write The Dialogue - Sylvester Stallone

  Winner of the 'What The Fuck Are You Doing In This Movie?' Award - Jet Li

  Best Cameo - Chuck Norris

  Most Likely To Have Been…

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  Review by CinemaCl🎃wn ★★★½ 6

  Bigger, better & bloodier, The Expendables 2 is an explosive sequel to its predecessor that improves upon the original in almost every department & is a worthy addition to the newly established franchise. Continuing its homage to past action classics, the film hugely improves on the action, violence & humour aspects and the new recruits to its ensemble cast are unquestionably a welcome addition.

  The Expendables 2 continues the journey of the notorious band of elite mercenaries who are reunited for a new assignment which seems like a seemingly simple operation but when one of their own is murdered on the job, the mission evolves into a quest for revenge as the group tries to avenge their loss by going one on one…

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  Review by Florin Scanlon ★★★★ 15

  "Ironic. Here we are you and I, and your knife. You're going to die, like him. What was his name? What did you call him? What does it matter?" - Jean Vilain

  Round 2. Now how do you go about making a sequel to The Expendables that can live up to the very high standards (a trace of loving sarcasm can be found in this statement) set by the first one? Easy. The blueprint is already there, all you have to do is bring everyone back, amp everything up, give Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis more screen time (unfortunately Jet Li's will have to be reduced but that's understandable), bring in Chuck Norris for a scene-stealing moment and make Jean…

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  Review by Michael James ★★★½ 2

  They’ve taken all that worked in the first installment and rightly amped it up; the actions are fiercely choreographed and the violence just got more bloodier. The humor and references are placed rightly. With the already classic cast, Liam Hemsworth gets added to the mercenary while Arnold Schwarzenegger & Bruce Willis get more screen time and Van Damme getting to play the deadly villain. The whole intro sequence of Chuck Norris was hilarious. It’s got a pretty decent storyline with great cinematography and editing. If you’re all about high octane action extravaganza and entertainment, Go watch it.

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  Review by Matt Singer ★★★

  The tender story of a man who loses his gay lover and spends the rest of the film mourning his loss, trying to avenge his death, and telling the women in his life he has no interest in them whatsoever. Also it's a really macho action movie and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be back" like three times.

  Three stars.

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  Review by josh lewis ★★

  "that thing belongs in a museum."
  "we all do."

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  Review by Larry ★★ 1

  A movie series made exclusively for dads. Dad jokes. Dad action. A dad story. A cast of like 20 dads and a woman called Liam.

  Expendables 2 represents the peak of modern dadcore; a genre that keeps Kevin Costner employed and Walmart dvd shelves fully stocked through Fathers Day.

  Speaking of which if you have a basic dad model he might actually enjoy getting an Expendables dvd collection for fathers day. I think ill get my pops the same but maybe replace the dvds with copies of The Danish Girl or posters of Liam Hemsworth.

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  Review by Mr. DuLac ★★★½ 13

  Six pounds of pure plutonium is powerful enough to change the balance of the world. Imagine what five tons will do.
  -Jean Vilain

  This is probably the film the first Expendables should have been. The plot is kept simple and tight. There's dialogue that is legitimately funny. There's actual characterization done instead of just trying to make everyone look "cool". Lastly the bad CGI gore is toned down and is actually at an acceptable level this time.

  Now if they would have stopped there this would have been a perfect action movie. Unfortunately there's still a few incredibly stupid moments in the film, but the ones that got to me the most was the overuse of meta-jokes. To say they're…

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  Review by Matt ★★★½ 2

  Still the best of the Expendables series, but man, on a rewatch, this was not nearly as fun as I remembered it being. It feels like it has way more dead spots than I remembered, where it just drags outside of the big action set pieces.

  This is still a vast improvement in terms of direction compared to the first movie, and more specifically, in the action. Stallone’s style was not working on the first movie (way too dark and way too much shaky cam) and Simon West, who is pretty damn solid action director (I mean he did make Con Air) comes in and helps elevate this thing above the first entry. It is also still fun to watch…

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  Review by Eric Szyszka ★★★ 1

  I know I'm giving it a super generous star rating but it's the rare movie wherein 32,000 people get killed. Podcast coming soon to We Hate Movies.

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  Review by Ⓢⓒⓘ-Ⓕⓘ Ⓦⓐⓢⓐⓑⓘ🍥 ★★★ 5

  That thing belongs in a museum.
  So do we!

  Had a long day of chasing up financial matters and physically putting stuff together, so needed something dumb and fun.

  Of the trashy Expendables trilogy, this is easily the best and only one worth watching.
  This time, Schwarzenegger and Willis actually have action scenes and they even managed to shoehorn Chuck Norris into a 'I'm (here) not here' cameo (hard not to notice when he doesn't really interact with anyone except Stallone).
  Plus Mr (stretching is so important) Jean Claude Van Damme, who could have used more character motivation screen time, but is twiddled down to a generic final showdown bad guy.

  The action is hit and miss; none of our…