Turns out I just really like shitty movies. This one has terrible writing and even worse acting, but it is packed with tons of hot ninja action.
There is a karate brawl between 7-year-olds, a fight scene involving a 60-year-old Japanese woman (which is truly amazing), and the lead character fights a gay cowboy using a pair of decorative fans. I bet you're into this now, huh?
It's also awesomely violent. Many people get various sharp weapons chucked into their faces, and I laughed with glee every time (which probably reflects a serious psychological problem, but whatever).
There's also a ton of sweet ninja gadgets like hidden knives, zip lines, mini flame throwers, smoke bombs, and robot arms.
I'm pretty sure it might be racist as fuck, too. But the stereotypes are so broad and ridiculous, and everyone's already a cartoon character anyway, so whatever.