Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins ★★★½

Because I was raised by Jokers and weaned on the clown milk of irony, I find it hard sometimes to figure out what my honest emotional reaction to a piece of art is. However, I do remember sitting in the theater watching the 3 hour underwater CGI battle scene in GI Joe: Rise of Cobra and making a sincere solemn vow to myself that I wouldn’t watch movies like this anymore and I especially wouldn’t watch another GI Joe movie. From the moment I left that theater my life would be free of empty nostalgia and my childhood obsession with GI Joe comics would be left in the past where it belongs, away from the contemporary claws of media conglomerates. Then a couple years later I went to see the one with the Rock.

At one point in this, there’s a bunch of boxes in the back of a club that have the Cobra logo on them and for some reason I thought they were gonna introduce Cobra as an evil street wear label and was disappointed when they just made them terrorists.

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