• Scanners



    Cold. Clinical. Canadian. Cronenberg. 
    3/5 exploding heads.

  • Loving Vincent

    Loving Vincent


    This immersive film was maybe not as immersive as the Immersive Van Gigh exhibit, but still, it was an immersive immersion and I was highly immersed. 🎨

  • John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

    John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum


    No...you watched all three John Wicks in one day.

  • Censor



    I’m loving the current giallossaince, and this is a bold nasty new entry. Yeah, it’s a little scrappy and a little uneven and it doesn’t all come together (one of the rare cases where a film could use a little more running time)...but the central mystery is gripping, the lead performance compelling, and it’s oozing with style and aesthetic, and proper gory when it needs to be. The final sequence, which will piss off some and baffle most, is what sold the whole thing for me. Giallelujah!

  • Pink Flamingos

    Pink Flamingos


    Does Pink Flamingos being on Criterion mean we have evolved or devolved as a society? 🐔💩

  • Memories of Murder

    Memories of Murder


    If you dislike this movie, you are Wrong Joon-ho, even if it is a bit Long Joon-ho. If you’re having trouble following the plot, then quit smoking that Water Pipe Joon-ho.

  • Bo Burnham: Inside

    Bo Burnham: Inside


    Sorry, In the Heights, I love you and you’re sexy, but this is actually the best musical of 2021. If Host captured the horror of quarantine, Inside captures the insanity of it. I would never want to live in Bo Burnham’s brain, but it’s a great place to be a tourist. 🍑🥕🎡🎟⛄️

  • A Ghost Story

    A Ghost Story


    A deliberately paced, gorgeously shot, poetic meditation on death, grief, and the fleeting nature of time...but would it have killed them to throw in a sexy pottery wheel scene? 👻

  • Dagon



    Campy B-acting, awesome practical effects, shitty early 2000s CGI, amazing sound design, and plenty of boobies because it's a Stuart Gordon joint...even giant, unknowable Lovecraftian tentacled fish gods gotta fuck. 🦑🧜‍♀️

  • A Quiet Place Part II

    A Quiet Place Part II


    As good as the original, but with one major plot hole: how does Emily Blunt have perfect highlights 474 days into the apocalypse?

  • Italianamerican



    How has no one trademarked “Martin Scorsaucy”?? I call dibs. 🍅🍝

  • The Third Man

    The Third Man


    Noir heaven. 

    Five out of five jaunty zithers.