Cats ★½

Cats as an object alone is so deliriously stupid that a director with the slightest sense of fun would have been able to turn it into a campy delight; combined with the genuine horror of the CGI, it seems impossible not to come away with something at least ironically entertaining. But Tom Hooper is somehow too boring a director, even in his base incompetence, to make a film with so many bewildering pieces into something entertainingly absurd. Just when it reaches the point where I was laughing at each new introductory song (these Cats LOVE to introduce themselves) the plot finally appears to ruin it all. There are admittedly some pretty good songs, but it takes more than half the runtime to get to them, and you have to wait through interminable numbers from Rebel Wilson and James Corden (both for some reason having been allowed to do their shtick) first. And even the fun numbers tend to be mired in Hooper's totally uninteresting approach, recycled from his Les Mis. Elaborate dance numbers are all fine and good, but don't just shoot them straight-on. You're making a movie, get creative! I don't know if it's possible to make an actually good Cats movie, but it sucks that the one we got isn't even enjoyably shitty.

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