The Room

The Room

This legendarily bad movie is, in fact, pretty bad.

But I think, more than anything else, it's fascinating. The process of watching it is somewhat of an intoxicating experience - and probably even better if you are intoxicated - as it is such a singular film in its bizarreness.

There's a reason Tommy Wiseau hasn't made any more films. And that reason is he doesn't really seem to know how to make them.

But it's also worth noting that he doesn't seem to have a basic grasp on the concept of storytelling. In any form.

Consider, for example, this film's "story." ... Which seems to be about a successful banker - or something, played by Wiseau himself - in line for a promotion and about to marry his girlfriend of 7 years... I think.

But the film consists of a series of mundane, banal scenes and pointless conversations between uninteresting characters for one hundred minutes... Featuring setups for potential subplots involving a shady drug dealer and a woman who's just been diagnosed with breast cancer, none of which are ever addressed or resolved within the context of the film.

And scenes of people doing boring things, like buying flowers, or getting a coffee at Starbucks - right down to the specificity of their order, as well as the orders of random customers who have nothing to do with the main characters of the film.

And then there's that bit where they're all wearing tuxedos for some reason, and decide to go out to the street to play a game of catch with a football.

And then you have the film's five awkward...and endless...sex scenes, scored by awful R&B songs.

This is an inexplicable film. With awful, bland production values that unfathomably cost 8 million real dollars of someone's actual real money... And very bad acting, made all the more amusing by some of the most awkward line deliveries I've ever seen.

It's terrible. No doubt about it. From start to nonsensical, overblown and hilariously melodramatic finish.

Terrible.

And yet it is mesmerizing and a lot of fun to watch.

That's what matters.

And you get a cookie if you can explain why it's even called "The Room."