• Children of the Corn

    Children of the Corn

    ★★★★

    4/5 stars w/o subtitles, but a solid 5/5 with em. You can thank me later.

  • American Ultra

    American Ultra

    ★★★★½

    somehow I found myself swooning for both Kstew and Jessie Eisenberg in this... making myself the MOST STEREOTYPICAL bisexual possible... which is upsetting but also I'm not that mad about it, obviously.

  • Ocean's Eight

    Ocean's Eight

    ★★★★★

    Look, pal. This every single one of these women are GORGEOUS and total BADDIES. My gay heart soars and so does my rating.

  • Romeo + Juliet

    Romeo + Juliet

    ★★★

    WELL, I started watching, fell asleep and woke up just in time to watch them die and still felt sad but I'm not sure if that speaks more of my mental state or the quality of the movie.

  • What If

    What If

    ★★★★★

    I CRY ALL THE DAMN TEARS. I DIDN'T KNOW STRAIGHT PEOPLE COULD MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY.

  • 50/50

    50/50

    ★★★★

    Better twist than Shutter Island... but I was also stoned for Shutter Island so that doesnt say much