me as john mulaney quotes, a collection i’m working on:

- sometimes babies will point at me, and i don't care for that shit at all. 
- in terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin. 
- i'm a very lucky person. i'm an idiot, and i've shovelled through life rather nicely so far, so i don't feel like i deserve good treatment. 
- i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then i’ll die. 
- i don’t look older, i just look worse. 
- you know those days where you’re like, ‘this might as well happen?’
- i don’t like that i’m in that lane either. and i sure would like to get out of it 
- i don't know. i know you told me but i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that i am under.