• Flying Phantom Ship

    Flying Phantom Ship

    ★★★½

    This movie has more twists in 60 minutes than Attack on Titan does in 60 chapters.

  • AIKa

    AIKa

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⡿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⠃⠸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠼⣛⣛⣭⢭⣟⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⢆⡠⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⢣⢶⣟⣿⣖⣿⣷⣻⣮⡿⣽⣿⣻⣖⣶⣤⣭⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠄⢹⠣⣛⣣⣭⣭⣭⣁⡛⠻⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣽⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⡛⢿⣽⢘⣿⣷⣿⡻⠏⣛⣀⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⡅⣿⠚⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄
    ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠑⣿⣮⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄

  • Are you lost in the world like me?

    Are you lost in the world like me?

    Only watched 5 seconds of this but you can tell it's a terrible Fleischer pastiche because the characters aren't grooving constantly.

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★½

    The trouble with cool is that the closer you get to a grand unified theory of it the more elusive it is, but we can still talk about it subjectively if we're lame. So for me a central tenet is that cool does not explain itself, it doesn't condescend to you, it just demonstrates its superiority. Older kids were cool to me through high school because they seemed to know something I didn't, about life or sex or something, but…

  • Pompo the Cinephile

    Pompo the Cinephile

    ★★★★½

    Sunset Boulevard, Mulholland Drive, OUATIH: "Hollywood is a cult or whatever and exploits your dreams and children or something."

    Pompo: The Cinéphile: "Hollywood is an hereditary aristocracy, movies should be 90 minutes, are contingent on the actors being attractive and money guys being subservient to vision, are generated by pain and isolation, have editing as their soul, and are created by children who are groomed for their roles."

    Yeah I think we know who wins for honesty. CLAP does the quiet part loud.

  • Birdy the Mighty

    Birdy the Mighty

    ★★★★★

    Western comics: guy turns into the Hulk

    Eastern comics: guy turns into the Girl

    Guess which is winning at the market.

  • Belle

    Belle

    ★★★½

    Me in 2012: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2013: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2014: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2015: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2016: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2017: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2018: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2019:…

  • 2001: A Space Odyssey

    2001: A Space Odyssey

    ★★★★★

    One man's journey to turn off the computer.

  • The Matrix Resurrections

    The Matrix Resurrections

    Not nearly enough e-girls or vtubers in this for me to consider it culturally relevant.

  • Nightmare Alley

    Nightmare Alley

    Man this del Toro guy has so much untapped potential as like a cab driver or birthday clown I just hate seeing his talent wasted like this.

  • Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

    Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

    ★★½

    All Hollywood movies are basically just the bad kind of fanservice now (i.e. designed for established niches and demographics with little crossover appeal, using homage and reference as a substitute for writing), and as a diehard fan of the games this was fun enough despite capturing almost nothing that made the originals or 2002's remake so enduring (the pathos, cuteness, atmosphere and design mostly, nothing about this franchise post- Code Veronica much less 4 is very cute or pathetic).

    Had…

  • Torque

    Torque

    ★★★★

    I think if more directors like Nolan, Villeneuve, Aster, Eggers, et al. had gotten their starts in commercials and music videos rather than short films then cinema might not be in such a low-energy place right now.