Gremlins ★★★★

things we've learned: gizmo is the cutest, but fed gremlins are terrifying (even more-so when they multiply). important rules to remember are there for a reason. don't steal from chinese men who have strange shops. when in doubt, blend.

the thing that makes this movie just shy of perfect is the inclusion of phoebe cates' "i hate christmas" backstory, whereupon her father (dressed as santa) slips, breaks his neck, and is somehow lodged in the chimney for a very, very long time. i'm not sure how one breaks their neck in the chimney and then becomes stuck there, and i'm not sure how he got home from work without his car being in the driveway, but i guess it wouldn't be a hollywood movie without some awful parent/child backstory, even if it's ridiculous and makes zero sense--am i right?