The Last Stand

The Last Stand ★★½

"You fucked up my car."
"You fucked up my day off."

If I'd known Arnie's return to the movies after his years of governating would behave like he never left the 1980's, I would've been less enthusiastic. All the action movie tropes I detested back then (the relentless gunfire, the one-note bad guy, the simplistic screenplay) are resurrected here with added awful 2010's tropes, mainly their ridiculous Fast & Furious CGI car shit. What saves this is much of the cast is fun to watch, outside of Eduardo Noriega who has to play the one-note bad guy. Peter Stormare is super slimy as Evil Henchman, it's hilarious watching Forest Whitaker lose his shit every time his worst-ever FBI agent screws up by blaming someone else, and I hope I find something in life that gives me as much pleasure as Johnny Knoxville gets from watching Arnie blast away the bad guys with a machine gun. The small town showdown was pretty exciting, as was seeing the Terminator snap off a few single-handed shotgun rounds, and his comeback reply quoted above is among his all-time best one-liners. Ultimately I can't look too far down on a film that begins with the Cowboy Junkies and features a man in a Dutch national soccer team jersey.

Block or Report