Favorite films

  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show
  • Phantom of the Paradise
  • Labyrinth
  • The Wicker Man

Recent activity

  • My Cousin Vinny


  • Hostel


  • McHale's Navy


  • Enchanted

Pinned reviews

  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2


    breigha and i met due to a series of increasingly niche references that culminated into one very lucky twitter notification. nearly 2 years and about a billion movies later, i found myself the furthest from home i had ever been in my life.

    in the deep south. voluntarily.

    go figure.

    how do you even begin to sum up a friendship that might as well be as old as time? i'll tell you how. with wise words from the wonderful paul…

  • The Wicker Man

    The Wicker Man


    i was INITIALLY going to focus this review on talking about the dynamic lord summerisle and sergeant howie have going on, but who am i kidding. even THAT was gonna make this one MUCH too long. that topic ALONE brings to mind about 20 different aspects of their relationship that make me feel like i am in AGONY.

    and so, to keep it as brief as i possibly can (although i'm not exactly known for my brevity), i decided to…

Recent reviews

  • Hostel



    i couldn't remember if this was the movie that used sneaker pimps' cover of willow's song how do, until it came on and i choked on my applesauce. sound of the summer! (the song, i mean, not the sound of me choking).

    this movie is seriously not that bad. i mean, i watched it with my good pal breigha and we cracked jokes the whole time, so maybe i had a little extra help enjoying myself. but. i genuinely don't…

  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    The Texas Chain Saw Massacre


    literally one of the bestest movies in the whole entire world. it's actually shocking that i've only seen this three times, but it's also like, if there ever comes a time that i get so used to the ending of this film that i don't tear up and stop breathing for a moment, i'm gonna rip my hair out, you know?

    the weather's been sooooo gross, and i have the worst headache from my wisdom tooth removal on tuesday, AND…

Popular reviews

  • Crazed Fruit

    Crazed Fruit


    well, i've already forgotten what all the commentary was supposed to be. i don't think i even figured out what the POINT was, at least not on my own. surely it was trying to say SOMETHING? i just don't know if it was like "WOMEN, amirite?" or "POST-WAR SOCIOPOLITICAL LANDSCAPES, amirite?" or like, "SUCKIN' AND FUCKIN', amirite?"

    ..okay, i don't think fundamental new wave classic crazed fruit (1956) was commenting on "suckin' and fuckin'" in so many words, but. you…

  • Shock Treatment

    Shock Treatment


    shock treatment is so WEIRD. i mean, we know that. duh. but IT IS!!!

    like, the first time i ever watched it, it completely ruined my day. i have NEVER felt the way i did after i watched shock treatment for the first time on a SUNDAY MORNING. an absolutely dreadful experience.

    but then, this is my tenth time watching it? and i own it on blu ray? and dvd?? and i have the soundtrack on vinyl??? and i know…