Daniel

Daniel Pro

Who taught you math?!

Favorite films

  • Tenet
  • Punch-Drunk Love
  • Spider-Man 2
  • Suspiria

Recent activity

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  • Drive-Away Dolls

    ★★★½

  • Mean Girls

    ★½

  • One Day

    ★★★★

  • This Is Me…Now

    ★★

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  • Drive-Away Dolls

    Drive-Away Dolls

    ★★★½

    Almost like if a Coen directed and rewrote a Shane Black script—it has a real freewheeling, light energy of a future midnight movie staple. You can tell that Ethan’s the lighter, sillier one of the brothers because it doesn’t have that underlying nihilism of a classic Coen joint. It’s definitely minor Coen for sure but it has one thing that most modern comedies don’t: Margaret Qualley superbly activating unhinged goofball chaos mode. I’m repeating myself again by saying that she…

  • Madame Web

    Madame Web

    Super-powered Dakota Johnson goes gonzo with a bunch of girls in a mind-bending thriller extravaganza where the limits of Ms Dakota’s ability will be tested: Awful Edition. Making a ‘superhero’ joint mostly be the opening of a Final Destination instalment on loop is a genuinely unhinged choice—plus, if you watch closely, you will notice some subtle references to the lore of Spider-Man! Ezekiel Sims will return as the big bad for Spider-Man 4, trust me. Watching this with my amazing Melbourne friends made this an unforgettable experience.

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  • Mean Girls

    Mean Girls

    ★½

    Definitively the fast fashion of movies. Every musical sequence has the energy of me on four hours’ sleep. Mean Girls (2004) is tacky in a complimentary early 2000s way, this is tacky in a straight-to-streaming, low energy, minimal effort way. All the Gen Z additions made me vomit in my mouth a bit—sorry Tina (I still think you’re great)!

  • One Day

    One Day

    ★★★★

    Well that was monumentally devastating, I’m going to end it all.

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  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    ★★½

    Just over the moon… that we got a hint of that sweet Electro theme!

    Contains some legitimately great Spider-Man moments in a film that feels like it’s built around scene and character-based concepts rather than being a tightly coalesced whole. Thankfully the annoying Disney Channel tone of Far from Home is mostly gone and Holland can give a performance that actually has a bit of weight at points. Still, this feels like fanfic where some of the fanfic is fun,…

  • Argylle

    Argylle

    A cinematic lobotomy if there ever was one. I saw this in an empty theatre and yet I still felt some of the most painful second-hand embarrassment of my life. This is basically what a director would make if they wanted to mock Kingsman and Matthew Vaughn on a spiritual level—it’s basically an entire filmic self-own. So, remember how The Matrix Resurrections did blockbuster meta storytelling in a really smart way? Well this does it in the most bozo, mind…