Favorite films

  • Bones and All
  • The Novelist's Film
  • Armageddon Time
  • TÁR

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  • Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

  • Semi-Pro

    ★★½

  • Day of the Outlaw

    ★★★★

  • Hook

    ★★★

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  • Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

    Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

    I remember this being the first “Hellraiser” VHS I would regularly see on the shelves of Blockbuster Video. For the longest time, this image of Pinhead was what I associated with the “Hellraiser” franchise on a whole. Turns out, this one is pure, goofy-ass 90’s metalhead-horror schlock. In other words: could not possibly be more my shit. 

    For those who are new to this series, this is the one where a guy repeatedly gets stabbed in the head with about…

  • Semi-Pro

    Semi-Pro

    ★★½

    Ya know, not *that* bad. Andre 3000’s line delivery regarding Bambi gets me every time. Woody’s performance is straight out of a serious-minded sports drama.

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  • Antlers

    Antlers

    ★★

    Here’s the pitch: it’s a monster movie, but the monster is inherited trauma. Or maybe the monster is the meth epidemic in the Pacific Northwest.

    No? What if the whole thing was an environmental parable? Or what if the monster somehow had its origins in indigenous folklore? Or what if…

  • The Butterfly Effect

    The Butterfly Effect

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Dude I’m sorry, but Ashton Kutcher’s acting when he wakes up in a new reality only to realize that he has no arms or legs is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in a movie.