Now, we can bicker and argue all we want but a monster movie needs to do two things. It needs to have monsters messing shit up and it needs to have shit getting messed up by monsters.

Kong: Skull Island gets that when it isn't busy forcing a contextualised war story down our throats or perfectly timing melodramatic tears running down Brie Larson's cheek (phenomenal actress, but laughably poor here).

We don't need fleshed out characters. We need them stomped on, helicopters chewed on and nasty critters doing nasty stuff.

When Vogt-Roberts' bloated mess does all that it is truly excellent. When it does all the other stuff it turns into a melodramatic eye-roll, trying to fill Kong sized holes in the narrative with a lot of yapping where it should have filled them with, well, more Kong probably.

Still, I had a good time with this. The effects and action sequences are outstanding, the cast is adequately expendable (apart from one Mr Reilly who has to be in every sequel imaginable) and it never really outstays its welcome.

Next time, more focus, more mayhem, more beasties, more John C Reilly and more Kong, please.