Favorite films

  • Messiah of Evil
  • The Falls
  • In the Dark
  • The Strange Case of Señor Computer

Recent activity

  • Mallrats


  • Escape from L.A.


  • Vampire's Kiss


  • Don's Party


Pinned reviews

  • Santa with Muscles

    Santa with Muscles

    At first I was glad because Hulk was going to save the orphans. But then I was disappointed because it wasn't even the good orphans, it was the leftover orphans no one wanted to adopt. I didn't want to adopt them, either. But then I was wrong again because they knew where the catacombs were.

  • The Draughtsman's Contract

    The Draughtsman's Contract

    [I sustain a spinal cord injury while rolling the R in "ribald," but recumbency increases the distance between the top of my head and the ceiling, permitting me a much greater volume of powdered wig. I am the toast of the season.]

Recent reviews


Popular reviews

  • Vibes



    I'm grateful to live in a universe in which "psychic Indiana Jones with Jeff Goldblum and Cyndi Lauper" is an actual film that got produced and released and not just the final dream of a dying madman

  • Blackbird


    Release your insane vanity project, you step-dancing Irish coward!