• The Little Mermaid

    The Little Mermaid

    I only half watched but why was it so fucking gray

  • Terminator Salvation

    Terminator Salvation

    ★★

    Mud

  • Starship Troopers

    Starship Troopers

    ★★★★

    Neil Patrick Harris entering each scene with an even more comically nazi ass fit than before

  • Drive-Away Dolls

    Drive-Away Dolls

    ★★★½

    Losing it at the parents with some 6-8 year olds with them waiting for the second lesbian sex scene to get up and leave

  • Out of Darkness

    Out of Darkness

    ★★★

    But like, what was the black goo about

  • The Prince of Tides

    The Prince of Tides

    ★★★★

    I’m just saying Babs, did you even try a version with the tiger

  • The Terminator

    The Terminator

    ★★★★½

    Kyle Reese possibly one of the smelliest movie characters I’d smash

  • Yentl

    Yentl

    ★★★½

    Mandy Patinkin is soooo hot and this was sooooo boring

  • Mean Girls

    Mean Girls

    ★★★½

    Justice for Where Do You Belong

  • Ferrari

    Ferrari

    ★★★½

    Nobody could just go to therapy after ww2 huh they just coped via going so fast they could die sometimes

  • The Book of Clarence

    The Book of Clarence

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    with Benedict Cumberbatch as

    Dumpster Person from Mulholland Drive

  • The Iron Claw

    The Iron Claw

    ★★★★½

    Zac baby we’re gonna get you that nom