• Miami Connection

    Miami Connection


    It turns out the real Miami connection was human connection all along.

  • Cemetery of Terror

    Cemetery of Terror


    Filmed in the nightmarish hellscape that is Brownsville, TX, Cemetery of Terror tells the tale of a bunch of horny teens that use a copy of the necronomicon purchased from wish.com to resurrect a supernatural powered killer that looks like George Eastman and (eventually) zombies. It is then up to Hugo Stiglitz and a bunch of 80's kids to save the day.

    Cemetery of Terror really takes its sweet time to get going (it takes 35 minutes before the killer…

  • Ninja Terminator

    Ninja Terminator

    I've been struggling with my mental health lately so when I get home I've been taking edibles, putting something on the TV and passing out by 9:30. Nothing has managed to hold my attention all week, except Ninja Terminator. From the moment I hit play I was locked in. I can't tell you what actually happened in it except that there was a death warrant issuing toy robot, and multiple extended scenes where the lead ninja chit chats with characters…

  • Talk to Me

    Talk to Me


    Talk to Me is a modern horror movie so like every other modern horror movie it’s about trauma, grief, and addiction. It’s always incredibly well shot, well acted, and has great set pieces so it’s still totally effective. It’s also a cautionary tale about how ghosts are crazy horny freaks with foot fetishes who want them toes.

  • Malum


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Man, Anthony DiBlasi and Co. thought they were really cooking with this one, huh? I remember The Last Shift being pretty decent, so I don't know why they felt the need to remake it and over stuff it with more shitty story than it can handle. Bad acting, tedious jump scares, and copious amounts of lame gore. Just a massive downgrade from the original. I also spit my coffee out and couldn't stop laughing when "The Low God" or whatever (I'm gonna call him ole pentagram face) showed up at the end. It looked like something straight out of my notebook doodles from middle school.

  • The Flesh and the Fiends

    The Flesh and the Fiends


    out of the two movies I watched for my Burke & Hare double feature, the other being The Doctor and The Devils, I have to give the slight nod to The Flesh and the Fiends. Both were a bit of graverobbin', old lady smothering fun, and both have amazing casts, but The Flesh and the Fiends surprised me with just how nasty and debaucherous it was. It's not often you see a movie made in 1960 from the UK be this…

  • The Majorettes

    The Majorettes


    From the minds of two guys that spent their careers riding George Romero's coat tails comes a fairly stinky slasher starring a cavalcade of western Pennsylvanian weirdos. I will give The Majorettes some credit for trying something different though. It's not often that a slasher movie reveals the identity of the mystery killer halfway through and then proceeds to turn into a Death Wish 3 styled revenge thriller. Granted it's Death Wish 3 on a tiny, regional budget but they…

  • Spellcaster



    I’m always down for a movie set in Charlie Band’s castle especially if it’s filled with John Carl Buechler critters and effects.

  • May



    Why is the movie about the infinitely sad, crazy girl who wants to make a frankenstein that will just love her and see her for who she is the most relatable movie I’ve seen in years???

  • The Last Horror Film

    The Last Horror Film


    The Last Horror Film: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

    Joe Spinell’s moistness levels in The Last Horror Film: 💧💧💧💧💧

  • Mind, Body & Soul

    Mind, Body & Soul

    If you've seen a Rick Sloane movie before then you already know what you're gonna getting in to with Mind, Body & Soul. Chintzy sets and (not so) special effects, bizarre acting choices, and a script that must have been written by an alien. This is all pretty standard for the guy that gave us Hobgoblins and Vice Academy. The movie's greatest sin, however, is that there's only about 5 minutes of Wings Hauser and he doesn't get to go buck wild. How are you gonna get Wings for your not-at-all-sexy, sexy times movie and not let him run wild? Complete bullshit.

  • Psycho III

    Psycho III


    Psycho III is no where near as good as Psycho II, but it’s a hell of a lot more fun. I was not prepared for just how sleazy, trashy, and downright goofy Psycho III is, but I had a ton of fun with it. How can you not love Norman killing people on the toilet, and Jeff Fahey’s weird, erotic lamp dance?