The Northman

The Northman

i saw this movie completely alone. this very night, i came into an empty hall, shared a screenshot of the sheer and complete vacancy with a few, appropriated a d-box seat that would have remained vacant otherwise, and settled in.

i had not heard much of anything about the northman. i am not on twitter or anywhere else. i have seen this poster and my friends' intentionally details-light writings—for which i do agree and for which i am grateful—and nothing else. i was prepared to compare this movie against another somewhat like it, conan 84, one of my big favorites. but i was also prepared to see this in a crowd.

long have i said that matters are connected, that nothing can exist in a vaccum, that you bring only what you take with you into every situation. in complete solitude, in zero expectation, i had almost nothing to bring. it was unlike anything i had ever been through before. i sat dead center and watched an empty man fill himself with blood for hours. it was like watching a superhero origin movie of death's grim spectre. it was alien. i dont even know if i liked the fucking thing or not. how can i judge this night? i am sure if i saw this with others, even one other person, i might not have liked the northman nearly as much. but i was lucky, and so it is one of my favorite watches this year. didnt even know it was a folktale.

nobody was in the theatre as i left. even the arcade, otherwise lousy with calorie-rich mid-2010's app store noise (and would it kill them to get a tekken 5 cabinet in there? even tekken tag i am not picky) was shut off. you can laugh if you want but i stood there for longer than i can recall genuinely considering that maybe i had died. what on earth was my family going to see if i managed to get home and came in through the door? for those considering it: solipsism is not a human's game. if you are asked to play, refuse. do not run from others. alexander was way hot as amleth

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