• Beckham

    Beckham

    it is disgusting how much this thing made me appreciate and love Gary fucking Neville

  • The Love Guru

    The Love Guru

    ½

    This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it!

    Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.

    This place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here.

    What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.

    The danger is in a particular location... it increases towards a center... the center…

  • Wonka

    Wonka

    ★★★½

    if you give Jim Carter a tiny pair of glasses i'm basically gonna be on board with whatever

  • Nomads

    Nomads

    ★★

    Pierce Brosnan is as good at French accents as he is at singing ABBA

  • 1492: Conquest of Paradise

    1492: Conquest of Paradise

    unconscionably boring. jesus christ. who was minding the shop for this one

  • G.I. Jane

    G.I. Jane

    ★★★

    Scott was largely too self-serious in the 90s. There should be more fun weirdos at the boot camp, as much as I love "nervy Viggo Mortensen with a mustache"

  • A Good Year

    A Good Year

    ★★★

    I get it Ridley. I too would like to inherit a vineyard in Provence, fall in love with restauranteur Marion Cotillard, and tell a bunch of City traders to fuck off

  • The Mirror Has Two Faces

    The Mirror Has Two Faces

    ★★★

    by the time we were at the sixth act (Barbra pondering an affair with Pierce Brosnan while Jeff Bridges screams math at his students) I felt too unhinged to have an objective opinion on this movie

  • Wham!

    Wham!

    ★★★½

    Smith always knows how to present this stuff in a way that doesn't feel trite? P brilliant. Randy Andy Ridgeley ultimate sweetie

  • Dune

    Dune

    ★★★★★

    have decided this is a thanksgiving movie

  • Smoke Sauna Sisterhood

    Smoke Sauna Sisterhood

    ★★★

    vibes are pretty immaculate in this one. guess I gotta move to an Estonian sauna hut

  • Menus-Plaisirs Les Troisgros

    Menus-Plaisirs Les Troisgros

    ★★★★

    do you think anyone pretends to be a zombie when they serve the brains