Ballet Of Blood

Ballet Of Blood ★½

I bet the hour and forty minutes that it took me to watch Ballet of Blood flew by for everyone else on the planet during that time. They could have been reading, working, or exercising, really anything, and they probably had time pass by a lot quicker. Not me, I sat there diligently watching, absorbing, and trying to understand if this was crap on purpose or just regular crap. It's a fine line, and I think this movie walks both sides culminating in a trashy movie you can laugh at, but only if you have the brain damage to sit through it all.

Storywise, Ballet of Blood is a mess. Plot threads about a pair of ballet students who kill the people mistreating them, but also kill for money that is hidden somewhere, or some other reason. It doesn't matter why. There is also a weird overarching metaplot about one of the other ballerinas, who is writing a book about the incident and narrates parts of the movie like it is playing out as she writes. This thread comes and goes, adding a weirdness to the film, but also convoluting the whole thing making it even harder to watch. So, was it all real? Was it a story? Why do the ballerinas have a lingerie party annually? Why did the one shoot up the school in an open robe? Why does her dad have automatic guns in a "hidden room" in the closet of his daughters' room? The questions keep coming and can drive you mad.

I do think the dialogue gives away that some of this movie is supposed to be trashy fun. The flashbacks of the lingerie party alone made me laugh out loud, especially after a bit of a slap fight that lands our one ballerina, lingerie and all ass-first into a pile of cocaine. She then stands up and tells the other girls to snort it off her ass before smacking both cheeks a few times letting the cocaine fly. I mean, that had to be funny on purpose right? One girl has an obsession with sharing needles because it shows you love each other. Her boyfriend replies to the situation nonchalantly with "Whatever, as long as I go first." By the end, the movie falls into some weird and unintelligible nonsense of dreams, marionettes, and murder. It drops the fun and crap dialogue for something more serious, which kind of kills the whole thing. If there was ever a thing to kill.

I am torn on Ballet of Blood. On the one hand, it's awful and for a lot of people, I can see this being unwatchable. Yet, it is oddly compelling in its own trashy way. Hilarious dialogue, confusing script, terrible editing are all hallmarks of a good bad movie. I am questioning if I actually enjoyed this, while also wondering if I was just trying to find the fun in a really bad movie to help my brain from exploding. Either way, you can probably give this one a pass and live a happy life.

Watched as part of my From the Depths series, streaming movies that have barely been seen and are barely watchable.

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