• High Life

    High Life

    ★★★½

    who was keeping robert pattinson’s haircut so fresh in space? no way his fade would look that tight. totally took me out of the movie!!

  • Clueless

    Clueless

    ★★★★

    “cmon guys let’s head to the hottest party in LA where all the cool rich kids hang out. the mighty mighty bosstones will be performing.”

  • Pearl

    Pearl

    ★★★★

    mia goth you got a suicide girls soundin ass name and you’re exactly my type (caked up sexually repressed maniac) and i love you

  • 2 Days in New York

    2 Days in New York

    ★★★½

    not to be a "Simpsons did it!" guy but this movie is 'Bart Sells His Soul' + 'Crepes of Wrath'

  • Top Five

    Top Five

    ★★★★

    Chris Rock has been admirably trying and failing to add a smart, meaningful romance movie to his filmography over the last 20 years but this is the closest he’s come to actually sticking the landing. The story gets a little clunky in places but he patches over it by throwing like 10 rapid-fire cameos at you to pull you back in. Perfect use of everyone in the outrageously stacked cast. (Two cameos in particular bump the score up a half…

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★

    watched it on a plane and they blurred out the lady’s butt but not the part where he’s lopping dudes’ heads off with a sword. we got a real warped relationship with the female body in this country, man. free the nipple, etc.

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★½

    a guy who mansplains jazz and a woman who emails all her friends about her one-woman show? they deserve each other.

  • Barb & Star Go to Vista Del Mar

    Barb & Star Go to Vista Del Mar

    ★★★½

    and the award for Best Movie That Feels Like It’s Based on an SNL Sketch But Is Somehow Not goes to....

  • GoodFellas

    GoodFellas

    ★★★★★

    i've watched this movie 1-2 times a year since it came out, mostly with my family on christmas as a sort of post-dinner comfort watch. but tonight was the first time i ever attended a screening of it. watching it with a large los angeles audience (read: non italians), it really sunk in how FUNNY this movie is. i mean, i always thought it was funny but i figured the humor was too greaseball-centric to translate to most audiences. so…

  • Vicky Cristina Barcelona

    Vicky Cristina Barcelona

    ★★★

    i’ll bet his dad’s poems sucked shit

  • Dressed to Kill

    Dressed to Kill

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    hm i’m no expert or nothin but i don’t think getting a boner activates your urge to commit trans crimes. looked great though. like a 90-minute glimmer on a razor blade.

  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★★★★

    this is why you shouldn’t hang out with your sister even once