Favorite films

  • Whiplash
  • The Social Network
  • The Shining
  • Manchester by the Sea

Recent activity

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  • Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★½

  • It

    ★★★½

  • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

    ★★★½

  • Serial Mom

    ★★★★½

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  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★½

    Tom Cruise may legitimately be the greatest action star to ever exist.

  • It

    It

    ★★★½

    Some of y’all got mad before when I said that Stephen King was a mediocre writer with an overactive imagination who did a lot of drugs in the 80s causing him to write like 17 books a month.

    To that group of people, just understand that in the original “It” novel (over a thousand fucking pages btw), King wrote a scene in which Beverly fucks all of the preadolescent children in the sewer after they defeat Pennywise-the-demonic-space-clown in order to…

Popular reviews

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  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★

    Robert Eggers watched The Lion King and said “Willem, take off your clothes. I have an idea.”

  • Eternals

    Eternals

    ★★★½

    The strangest phenomenon known to cinema is that, in the same year of WandaVision & Loki & Falcon and the Winter Soldier & Black Widow & Shang-Chi, this is the first rotten movie of the MCU. 

    Absolutely baffling.

    I’m not even saying this is great. Far from it. But just by default it’s easily Marvel’s best project of 2021. 

    Idk. Maybe the Marvel fandom is upset because only ~one~ character was unabashedly obnoxious in their humor, rather than 95% of the cast.

    Let this be a lesson to Marvel. You start making content fit for literal children, they’re gonna throw a tantrum the moment you try anything remotely mature.