Favorite films

Recent reviews

• 

  Miss Americana 2020

  ★★½ Watched 29 Nov 2023

  Finding out Taylor Swift has parents surprised the shit out of me for some reason.

• 

  Napoleon 2023

  ★★ Watched 23 Nov 2023 5

  No joke, Napoleon might be the the only movie of 2023 with NO DIRECTORIAL VISION. It feels like Ridley Scott got Napoleon’s “Top 10 Greatest Hits” and just lazily combined them to make this weird anthology-ish structure. 

  1. An Inaccurate Biography
  2. A Shallow Romance Movie
  3. A One Dimensional Character Study
  4. War Film

  The comedy is also terrible and is honestly similar to how SNL makes fun of Donald Trump (i.e., loud big guy say stupid shit haha).…

Popular reviews

• 

  Five Nights at Freddy's 2023

  ★½ Watched 26 Oct 2023 5

  at least American Tom Holland is employed again!

  (he deserves better, same for Matthew Lillard)

  2023 Ranked

• 

  The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2023

  ★★★ Watched 06 Apr 2023 5

  Imagine a sequel but instead of Mario and Luigi, it’s Wario and Waluigi, and instead of being from Brooklyn, they’re from Staten Island, and instead of having a happy ending, they fucking lose because they’re from Staten Island and it’s Wario and Waluigi. 

  Also, both Wario and Waluigi would be played by Pete Davidson.