Mommy

Mommy ★★★★★

"loving people doesn't save them."

the last time i was watching this was in my ex's bed and now i'm in my room alone watching. i cut him out of my life because it was too much. steve and die's entire relationship was something i'm much too familiar with because i have bipolar disorder and i can get that turbulent and that angry. granted, i'm never violent but the way that you can literally see die and kyla's emotions pouring out when steve has his outbursts is something i've seen in my ex's eyes, in my mom and my dad's when i'm manic. it's a terrible feeling yet dolan encaptures it so fucking well.

the faux ending scene has to be my favorite part because it's everything my parents see but i'm not sure if i even see it for myself. i just love this film so fucking much, not only because i've had so many rocky relationships but it just captures the complexity of loving someone unconditionally which i don't think i ever have. everything about this, everything-- from the lighting to the soundtrack to the acting to the aspect ratio is perfect. this has to be xavier dolan's best best best work since i killed my mother.

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