Favorite films

  • After the Screaming Stops
  • Brewster's Millions
  • Brass Eye
  • Bring It On

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  • Batman

    ★★½

  • Window Water Baby Moving

    ★★★★½

  • The Wailing

    ★★★★

  • Bloodbath at the House of Death

    ★½

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  • Batman

    Batman

    ★★½

    It's been a few decades since I last watched this and I barely recognised anything, but it's not hard to remember exactly how towering this was in the golden summer of 1989. The feeling of Batman being everywhere was heavy, especially since I was already a firm Marvel fan by then: to me, DC represented a slew of boring characters called _________Man, silly plots and bad cartoons. I'd always pick a moldering generic 70s horror comic out of the pile…

  • Window Water Baby Moving

    Window Water Baby Moving

    ★★★★½

    sparkle, shift, reverse, slide, drip, smile, scream, cut, reverse, splash, kiss, kiss, sigh, push, strain, reverse, relax, spill, pull, push, pull, push, grab, kiss, yell, tear, dribble, shine, glide, scream, shout, reverse, splash, relax, kiss, smile, kiss, breathe.

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  • Muscle

    Muscle

    ★★★★

    Is there a catchy abbreviation for "middle class middle-aged dude exploitation"? This film leverages every little insecurity of the paunchy, balding, Lost British Man into something genuinely terrifying. Terry-fying!

    My hatred of villains named Terry continues with this little shot of adrenaline straight from the hollowed-out North, where shit call centre jobs have replaced industrial labour and our protagonist Simon lives his hollowed-out little life. Definitely post-Fight Club, this stranglehold of a film is a viscous British twist on this…

  • Back in Action

    Back in Action

    ★★★

    "Don't mind me, I'm just Billy Blanks with an insane facial expression, wearing double denim and going apeshit on anyone and everyone in sight. HEYAYYAYAYAAYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA."

    A bonkers actioner that must have used every squib available in the GTA, Back in Action makes up for an uninspired plot and pretty lousy acting (it's notable how quickly they get Blanks kicking faces to avoid having him speak) with nonstop battling and blowing stuff up. Piper is in top form here, never the…