Genuinely struggling to believe this is an actual, real movie that was made and shot and released in 2018 and I just viewed with my supposedly functioning 2021 eyes. Obviously this is completely and utterly naff top to bottom but I’d be lying if I said all of Tom’s Capital C Choices didn’t spice up my Saturday night something silly. The real parasite is that Eminem song. Sing it with me. Venom. Adrenaline momentum, Venom. Genagenagenagenuhmm, Venom. My brain is leakinghmmm, Venom.

Bring on Round 2. Venom.