Favorite films

  • Morocco
  • Heat
  • Millennium Mambo
  • Exiled

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  • Crank

    ★★★★★

  • Uncharted

  • Crimes of Passion

    ★★★★

  • They Were Expendable

    ★★★★

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  • Crank

    Crank

    ★★★★★

    spirit-sprinting on the digital edge; statham-as-philosopher's stone, purifying himself through exertion, exhaustion, and sublimation, internal chinese/hermetic alchemical praxis in the age of google maps and 'free market' panopti-consumerism. i do not believe in a god who doesn't know how to dance; i believe even less in a man who does not know how to die.

  • Uncharted

    Uncharted

    having fuckin' tom holland of all people portray nathan drake when you have mark wahlberg in the film?? not only that, but then you also have the ACTUAL nathan drake, nolan north, also in a cameo appearance, still looking and sounding exactly like nathan drake, and he's not portraying him?? i've never even played these damn games but i can tell you that this is already fucked up. hollywood never misses a chance to screw up these videogame adaptations; we should thank our stars and garters than the resident evil movies are as good as they are...

Popular reviews

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  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    ★★★★★

    venom LITERALLY said gay rights!!!

    they gave every single worst line in the script to michelle williams and she carried that shit like a champ. robert richardson photographed the crap out of this as well when he definitely didn't need to. absolutely dumb as hell, i loved every second of it. reminds you that capeshit doesn't have to be totally irredeemable self-important garbage; there's hope for cinema yet! give me a hundred more screwball comedies with big stupid queer slime creatures!!!

  • Nomadland

    Nomadland

    every single year we arrive at the shallow end of the filmmaking pool known as awards season, and every single year there's a movie (or several) exactly like nomadland. a touristic faux-docudrama vehicle for the most banal form of misery porn, presenting itself with all the deliberately-adorned signifiers of 'authenticity' and 'deeply-felt emotion' that endear this insidious genre of film to a dishwater-dull critical audience desperate to see any portrait of society that vaguely acknowledges that weird and esoteric concept…