Favorite films

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
  • WALL·E
  • Swiss Army Man
  • Cloud Atlas

Recent activity

  • The Creator


  • The Addams Family


  • Spy Kids: Armageddon


  • Killer Klowns from Outer Space


Pinned reviews

  • A Corpse for Christmas

    A Corpse for Christmas


    Even whackjob murderers know The Muppet Christmas Carol is based.

    I've been going to The Mahoning Drive-In's VHS Fest every year since 2020, and director Brewce Longo completely captures the look and feel of the old micro-budget horror films from the 80s and 90s that appear in these marathons. That includes the stuff that's not quite my tempo, but I in no way regret entering the Blood Sick Productions booth and buying both Blood Sick Psychosis and A Corpse for…

  • Skinamarink



    Yet another chapter into the book of "JP wants to like experimental movies, but the amount of wait time in between things happening in the experimental movies makes him impatient." I like the concept of primarily using soundscape and environmental changes to tell the story of Skinamarink (or "Skinnemark" as my bros started calling it after some drinks at Barcade). However the gaps in between actual scares or plot progression sometimes depleted my fear-of-the-dark factor. Part of that might've been…

Recent reviews

  • Spy Kids: Armageddon

    Spy Kids: Armageddon


    The big difference between the original Spy Kids trilogy and Robert Rodriguez's other attempts at continuing the franchise is that it's just not weird anymore. There's no thumb people, no animal hybrids, no randomly super famous actors playing crackpot characters, no girl who can fly with her pigtails. It really feels like post trilogy endeavors have either lost their iconic touch or been washed out by studio tampering.

    Nothing from this movie could be randomly spun off into an R rated action movie like Machete, and that's kind of the problem

  • Black Dynamite

    Black Dynamite


    Black Dynamite is a love letter to blaxpoitation film while also being a masterclass in purposefully making a "so bad it's good" film that then slowly dissolves into pure absurdist hilarity. Like how did you juggle and blend all these concepts so perfectly?

Popular reviews

  • The Golden Compass

    The Golden Compass


    I used to go to sunday school and the weekend this came out they gave us notices to show our parents saying "Do not take your kids to see this movie. In The Golden Compass book series they fight God." I gave the letter to my dad. He looked at it, looked at me, and then drove to the movie theater and we saw this.

    The God-fighting is a later book and Dad was disappointed.

    EDIT: Since this is my biggest review, as a bonus I'll also let you know my confirmation name was Wolfgang.

  • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


    There need to be more movies where the characters win with weaponized depression.