I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.

Favorite films

  • Pulp Fiction
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
  • Unbreakable
  • WarGames

Recent activity

  • True Romance


  • Uncle Sam


  • Major League


  • Obi-Wan Kenobi


Recent reviews

  • True Romance

    True Romance


    I've seen True Romance about a dozen times, and this is the first time it occurred to me that, when a pop culture obsessed dork like Clarence finally gets himself laid, of course it would be lit and shot exactly like the sex scene from Top Gun. Well, either that or the one from The Terminator, but even Tony Scott knew that no human being can have hand-clasping sex the way that Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese do by simple…

  • Uncle Sam

    Uncle Sam


    Bill Lustig's a weird director. He made Maniac, which is a surprisingly affecting slasher flick from the early days of the genre, and a bunch of the Maniac Cop flicks, which are at least kinda gross and fun, but he also made Relentless, which I recall as one of the worst serial killer movies ever made, and in a world that contains The January Man and Jennifer 8, that's saying a thing.

    Uncle Sam, however, appears to be in Bill's…

Popular reviews

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Protip: do not ever attend an ex's wedding, even if there is an unlimited open bar. Actually, especially if there is an open bar. And extra especially if you have the magical power to turn your ex's new spouse into something that greedily feeds on pig dung. Anyway, this is a movie about selling Disney Plus subscriptions.

    Okay: there's a teenage girl named America Chavez who has the power to physically travel the Multiverse, but not to become a breakthrough…

  • Perfect



    We open with seizure-inducing flickering lights and a voice over direct from an incel's manifesto, and I fear that I might have made a terrible movie selection.

    Then we cut to a teenager, who has apparently murdered a girl in his bedroom, calling his mom for help, and it seems the voice over might well have been straight out of an incel's 4Chan post history, and I am questioning the life choices that have brought me here, in front of…