Colin the dude

Colin the dude

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  • Titanic

    Titanic

    ★★★★★

    I am positively, lethally nostalgic for this period in the late 90s and Titanic preserves this feeling more than any piece of media. I never had the chance to see it in theaters; I was in third grade and was laser focused on childish matters but as soon as it hit home video, you better believe that double VHS set was worn out to the nub. I have a distinct memory of sitting in class at my desk and using…

  • Don't Say a Word

    Don't Say a Word

    There's a kind of circumstantial poetry to the A-list star power of Michael Douglas ending two weeks after 9/11. Pre-9/11, Mike's a superstar. Post-9/11, it's over. After 9/11, audiences were no longer served Movie Star Douglas, nor were they compelled to seek out Michael Douglas, ever again. Don't Say a Word was the last time he carried mainstream appeal where masses chose to see something because of him.

    There is even an old TV spot that references him as "Academy…

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  • Boat Trip

    Boat Trip

    2003 saw the legendary Cuba Gooding Jr. releases of Boat Trip* and Radio. One was a Mike Tyson uppercut to his career and the other was a swift sucker punch K.O. and with a "poof" his leading man persona went into a vegetative coma. Donezo. Out like a light. Then, many years later, 2019 to be exact, he was taken off life support after rape allegations surfaced. His Oscar was buried with the body.


    *footnote: If you're signing up for a film directed by a guy named Mort, maybe rip up the contract and get the hell outta there.

  • The Hot Chick

    The Hot Chick

    Not a lot of people remember that time Rob Schneider and Rachel McAdams switched bodies in Tom Brady's directorial debut.

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  • Die Hard

    Die Hard

    ★★★★★

    A simple fact: action movies have been neutered, half-baked, half-written and served cold for children with Attention Deficit Disorder. Die Hard has aged into a lost art. It has a wholly original, unpredictable screenplay, crisp with sharp dialogue matched with badass line delivery through the mouths of believable human characters (This sentence alone cannot be attributed to a single modern action film). There is a tight plot that gradually escalates, accumulating ZERO gaps in logic equaling to not a single…

  • Blue Velvet

    Blue Velvet

    ★★★★★

    Plays like a Hitchcock film, if Hitchcock was possessed by a demonic incubus.