Colin

My reviews are a mix between my attempt at stand-up comedy and an in-depth PhD-level analysis.

Or most likely not even close to either.

Favorite films

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Oldboy
  • Columbus
  • Cowboy Bebop

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  • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

    ★★½

  • Jurassic Park III

    ★★½

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

    ★★★½

  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

    ★★★★½

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  • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

    Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

    ★★½

    Pirates of the Caribbean is a trilogy. Nothing can change that fact.

    I did like the Mermaids scene though but wondering why Sam Claflin was in the movie. Waste of talent and irrelevant side character.

  • Jurassic Park III

    Jurassic Park III

    ★★½

    This must be the universe where everything went exactly according to plan with little consequences. This movie was just too predictable with lots of shredded cheese. Wish they could’ve expanded more on the “evil” side of InGen. It was a side plot I would’ve liked to see be explored more. I guess that’s what the new trilogy is about huh.

    Haven’t seen the movie in 10+ years but this one just loses so much of what the first stood for.…

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  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

    Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

    ★★★★½

    Forgot how absolutely entertaining this movie is. The action and set pieces are just perfect.

    The tank scene is one of the most well choreographed scenes I’ve personally ever seen. It has the perfect blend of Indy’s wit in combat, humor from Henry Sr. and Marcus, and engaging fight choreography. It didn’t go on long enough to where parts were repetitive but manages to full grasp your entertainment.

    Set design was perfect. Elliot Scott is THAT dude and deserves so…

  • The Batman

    The Batman

    ★★★★★

    Batman vs. 4chan

    The wait was LONG but it was so well worth it.

    This has been said a lot already, but this is so awfully similar to Se7en and Zodiac but with Batman. This movie felt it was The Dark Knight’s next door neighbor or little brother. Like it picks up where the Dark Knight left off.

    It was everything I wanted in a Batman movie. Great performances, an eerie score, “painting” cinematography, a high stakes unhinged villain, and…