Clayton has written 20 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Saint Maud

    Saint Maud


    Its in-world parable would seem to be a worthy proscenium to explore the attraction of unwavering dogma on the mentally ill, but I’m afraid the deliverance I received on the latter half of its symmetrical credits was of a different kind altogether.

  • Alone in the Dark

    Alone in the Dark


    In my alternate universe, Jack Palance is the new frontman of The Sick Fucks.

    The premise of escaped mental patients targeting their new doctor and his family - after mistakenly believing he killed their previous doctor - is interesting and makes a compelling case to be remade with an Adam Wingard or Mike Flanagan type at the helm.

  • Green Street Hooligans

    Green Street Hooligans

    When Elijah Wood's character expresses amazement that a professional baseball team has a pitcher that throws "90mph", the screenwriters, and therefore the film, lost me forever.

  • Maria



    Third rate John Wick knockoff. There's some enjoyment to be found with a boozy disposition and buddies willing to do a live commentary track with you, but nothing resembling a satisfying movie.

    Stand out scene - The cat fight in the club restroom and the hilariously plausible dialogue exchange that precedes it.

  • Wonder Woman 1984

    Wonder Woman 1984


    First thing's first, there's a lot that doesn't work in Wonder Woman 1984. There's maybe 84 minutes of story in the bloated 2.5 hour runtime, which surprisingly doesn't feature a whole lot of its spangled central character. The period setting is either perfunctory or cashed out in currency I don't recognize, making me ponder what the year of my birth possibly had to do with anything besides the delight of seeing Kristen Wiig in Newton-John-esque spandex. It's amusing seeing Chris…

  • The Wolf of Wall Street

    The Wolf of Wall Street

    Unsparingly well-made and acted, but I had a fucking migraine in the theater when this ended. For all the inspired comic hyperbole and late career fuckyou Scorcese brings to the project, I could not help the sense that the film ultimately condones Belfort's excess by matching with its own, hammering the same note over and over and over again for three hours of pointless, hedonistic repetition. Those who will go on to tell me that was the point, fine. I did not find it stimulating and was thoroughly exhausted by it.

  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    Despite some strong performances, I didn't believe a word of it.

  • Surf Ninjas

    Surf Ninjas


    Nostalgia rewatch with my brother while we were both high as fuck.

    We lamented that in 1993 when I was 9 and my bro was 7, Ernie Reyes Jr looked so much older than us and it was slightly surreal that he looks like such a kid in this now. It's a good-natured, breezy, flirtatiously awful 90s time capsule and about as unpretentious as it gets. All these years later I'm still trying to discern why Leslie Nielsen's malfunctioning robotic…

  • Best of the Best

    Best of the Best


    An extra half star for the soft glow of nostalgia and a young, brash Chris Penn. If the star system on Letterboxd was contractually favored toward stale 80s cliches and sappy, melodramatic Eric Roberts moments, the neighboring Andromeda galaxy would be inadequate here.

  • Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull


    Yikes. I went in with fresh eyes hoping my earlier vituperative posture would have softened, but the intervening twelve years have done nothing to ease the pain.

    Undone by distracting layers of digital artifice, a wasted return of Karen Allen and a frustrating script that routinely pole vaults beyond the benefit of the doubt, Crystal Skull is such a miscalculation it demands an excavation of its own. By the length of a lead fridge hurled miles away by a nuclear…

  • David Foster: Off the Record

    David Foster: Off the Record


    The talent is scary and the collaborations of an unusually high breadth and caliber, but this is little more than a vanity project weighed down by the steely solipsism of its central figure.

  • Crisis



    Ingmar Bergman's Cinema - Criterion Collection #2

    Double Feature 1/2

    Mostly unremarkable debut film that introduces Bergman's knack for lyrical exposition and his preoccupation with female / female relationships.

    Apart from some thematic flourishes (nightmare) and a vivacious, clandestine jitterbug (the Ball), there's not anything terribly interesting going on here.