Favorite films

  • The Terminator
  • Aliens
  • The Lost Boys
  • Predator

Recent activity

All
  • The Transformers: The Movie

    ★★★★

  • Beyond Loch Ness

    ½

  • Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

  • Scream

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • The Transformers: The Movie

    The Transformers: The Movie

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This film is brutal with the kills, but it's nice to see the guys Unicron swallowed managed to survive, especially my boy Jazz.

    Shame I can't say the same for Prowl who got blown to shit by the Deceptions. RIP.

    Prime and Megatron both buying it and a host of new characters taking the forefront might (by a cynic) be called a toy selling strategy. Not me though, I love Arcee and Springer.

    Happy Soundwave made it through too, and…

  • Beyond Loch Ness

    Beyond Loch Ness

    ½

    It took me until 2 minutes to the end to realise the director wanted us to root against Nessie. Fuck that.

    The CGI sucks, the Nessie's don't interact with the environment. The acting sucks. The captions were like 5 minutes ahead of the film.

    Nessie is an underappreciated dinosaur, like Dimetrodons also are. This film sucks.

    Bring back Sharkansas, all is forgiven.

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  • Love on a Leash

    Love on a Leash

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Homophobic and racist actual dog, who seems to be the reincarnation of a sleazebag named Alvin Flang, is at a park eyeing up human females. Some fantastic CGI sparkles in a duck puddle tell him to find love or some shit.

    Green obsessed girl somehow takes this crazy inner monologuing dog home and falls in love with him and finds out that by day (sometimes) he's a sarcastic and abusive dog and by night (sometimes) he's a soy boy beta…

  • Doctor Who: Legend of the Sea Devils

    Doctor Who: Legend of the Sea Devils

    ½

    Doctor to Yaz

    "You're one of the greatest people I've ever met, including my wife".

    Go and get fucked Chibnall. Go and jump into the sea, then get fucked. This sentence could have been true, with a better writer and started sooner, maybe give Yaz an actual character and the actress a chance to fucking do something. Ditch some of those other useless characters during flux and let Yaz fucking contribute more than a homage to Indiana Jones.

    But you…